An old lady is speeding down a highway, when she spots a police officer with a speed gun.

The officer motions for her to pull over, then approaches up and asks her, smiling: “What’s the rush?” “I’m late for work.” “Sure,” the officer replies, “What do you do?” “I’m a rectal distender.”

“A what?” A rectal distender? “What exactly is that?” “Well, you see, I start with one finger, then another, and so on, until the entire hand is in. I work from side to side until I can fit both hands in, and then I slowly but steadily enlarge the rectum until it’s approximately 6 feet wide.”“And what the hell do you do with a 6 feet asshole?” “Give him a speed gun and put him by the side of the road.”

Related Posts

Tragic: Fox News Contributor Dies Following Hidden Battle With Cancer

Dr. Kelly Powers, a Fox News contributor known for her appearances on Red Eye and Fox Business, fought valiantly against a rare and aggressive form of brain cancer but…

Team Trump Shatters Fundraising Goals, Pledges to Protect GOP Majorities

President Donald Trump’s campaign and allied political committees have already met his ambitious $1.4 billion fundraising goal — more than a year ahead of schedule — setting…

Elon Musk Gives Millions To Republican Super PACs Ahead Of Midterms

Even though billionaire Elon Musk is no longer in the White House with President Donald Trump, he is still actively helping Republicans. On June 27, Musk donated…

First 2028 Democrat Announces They Are Not Running For President

Several top Democrats, such as former Vice President Kamala Harris, former Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg, and California Democratic Gov. Gavin Newsom, are all expected to run for…

Vance Swats Down Epstein Critics, Says Trump’s Been ‘Incredibly Transparent’

Vice President Vance defended the Trump administration’s handling of documents related to convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein during a press conference in Canton, Ohio, following an event…

Mystery Orange Shape Spotted Near Epstein’s Cell Night Before Death: Report

Forensic specialists are challenging the federal government’s explanation for the enigmatic orange form that was seen on surveillance film taken on the last night of Jeffrey Epstein’s…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *