Fox Entertainment scored big with its deal with Roseanne Barr. Frustrated with the prevailing “wokeness” in the nation, the American public sought an alternative to “The View” and found it in Roseanne. Her new show, “Barr None,” premiered on the streaming network with a rating of 5.8, a whopping 13 points higher than ABC’s “The View” on April 6th of the previous year. Showrunner Joe Barron gleefully remarked, “That comparison means we beat the pants off them,” suggesting Whoopi Goldberg is likely reeling in her “safe space.”

The show kicked off with a monologue heavily influenced by Donald Trump’s rhetoric, followed by skits featuring popular personalities like Rob Schneider and Scott Baio. Kid Rock served as the musical guest, providing the soundtrack for Roseanne’s homage to the January 6 prisoners.

The audience was thoroughly engaged, experiencing a range of emotions from laughter to tears, with occasional outbursts of anger directed at Muslim members of Congress for unspecified reasons. The show culminated in a five-minute chant of “Impeach Biden,” leaving Barron satisfied with the hour-long spectacle.

Reflecting on the success, Barron admitted some concerns about the next episode’s content but ultimately shrugged them off, confident in the show’s ability to captivate its audience regardless.

Certainly, it seems like a victorious moment in the ongoing culture wars. According to Nielsen data, Roseanne’s audience boasts an average IQ of approximately 67, with the highest recorded score of 104 belonging to the individual who sold them all rapture insurance. This achievement marks a significant triumph for patriots in the battle for cultural influence. Indeed, it’s a day to celebrate, reaffirming the belief that we are prevailing. God Bless America.